


Michiru vs Minako: Femme Warfare

by lesbianneptune



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: F/F, Gen, a silly thing i wrote because i'd spent so much time killing these characters off, i figured they deserved a break, rated for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 09:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4014463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianneptune/pseuds/lesbianneptune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>”Mina’s great, Michi! You know she’s important to me.” “Haruka, darling, so is next door’s cat, but that doesn’t mean I wish to spend a whole day in the presence of the damn thing.”<br/>Written for the Harumichi Tumblr Circle April Showers event, with the prompts "rivalry" and cold".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Michiru vs Minako: Femme Warfare

“You know, I’m really surprised you agreed to this trip. Pleasantly surprised, don’t get me wrong, but don’t you have your own personal zoo back home or something? Without the cheap food, screaming children and animal shit?”

Michiru exhaled sharply at Minako’s carefully chosen digs. They were walking through the exhibits together, somehow left alone as the others had split off to visit different enclosures or, in Haruka and Hotaru’s case, the children’s playpark, something Michiru was pretty certain had been Haruka’s idea. She’d never gotten to experience family outings as a child and she was more than compensating for this now, Michiru noted, and it made her smile to think of her wife finally receiving the laidback lifestyle she deserved.

Unfortunately, caring for Haruka’s whims and wants regarding their family life also meant, more often than not, one Minako Aino would also be invited along to their summer outings. Which also meant that Michiru would have to put up with her for entire days, often in sweltering heat and with very little relief lest she wished to upset her beloved. (”Mina’s great, Michi! You know she’s important to me.” “Haruka, darling, so is next door’s cat, but that doesn’t mean I wish to spend a whole day in the presence of the damn thing.”)

Minako wasn’t so much a threat as she was a pest, an irritant that Haruka would so often lather all over Michiru’s life in her endearing attempts to coerce everybody she loved into friendship. Of course, whenever Michiru pointed out Haruka’s own rivalries with Seiya, a variety of butch lesbians or literally any man ever, she would flush and babble excuses, but Michiru supposed at the very least there were entertaining fist fights on offer when it came to those grudges.

Fighting with Minako felt little different to swatting a particularly annoying fly.

“We all have to make sacrifices,” Michiru replied airily, “speaking of cheap, is there a reason why you’re wearing that…ensemble?”

Minako stopped. She was dressed in her favourite rainbow crop-top, the word “babe” written upon it in glitter, and short shorts she had deliberately chosen to be two sizes too small, oversized shades perched on her nose.

“Excuse me, bitch?”

“Ah. I seem to have hit a raw nerve. Not difficult, considering how little you’re wearing.”

“Just because I’ve gotten way more attention than you have, which is unsurprising, considering I’m hot shit and you’re dressed like my ninety year old Grandma,” Minako snorted.

“Do you really think I care at all for the poor tastes of men? I fear you’ve misjudged me,” Michiru responded lightly.

“No, but there was a butch lesbian near the tigers that was totally checking me out and not you. Just saying. Your reign is over, ice queen.”

“I don’t particularly care for outliers,” Michiru examined her fingernails, masking her annoyance beneath an air of boredom. It was odd - she had never before thought herself to be in any kind of competition with Minako, on the contrary, she considered such a rivalry to be beneath her. After all, the two of them were quite obviously in entirely separate leagues - or so she had always believed.

“Hey, Prissy,” Minako’s voice rudely interrupted Michiru’s thoughts.

“You know, when we get home I’m going to suggest that Haruka gets another pet because you are-”

“Shut it for a second. See that handsome specimen over there? Medium height, undercut, definitely 100% gay as balls?”

Michiru peered in the direction she was gesturing in, wishing for a moment that she’d brought her opera glasses.

“Hmm…yes. What about her? She’s not a match for Haruka, if that’s what you’re asking. I certainly wouldn’t give her any higher than an 8/10.”

“No that’s not what I’m- wait, what’s Haruka on that scale?”

“A 12.”

“Why did I even bother asking? No, what I’m thinking is this. You and me should settle this once and for all. First one to get her number wins.”

Michiru paused.

“I knew that’d be the case - you’re way too chicken. It’s alright, I get it, hot new femme on the scene, you need to protect your self-esteem, there’s no way you’d ever be able to beat me, especially not dressed like that and-”

“You’re on, you incorrigible little brat.”

–

Half an hour, three ice-creams, several bribes and an awkward one-sided discussion on Chopin later, Minako slumped on a bench, defeated, Michiru perched elegantly beside her.

“I can’t believe she turned out to be straight. My gaydar is NEVER off. NEVER,” Minako groaned.

“Ah. Is it not obvious? The girl quite clearly saw my wedding ring and didn’t wish to upset you, what with the true achievement already taken.”

“How do you manage to fit your massive fuck-off ego through doors?”

“You seem to be forgetting I have a mansion.”

As Minako raged, Haruka approached, tired but grinning.

“Me and Hotaru just saw the lions being fed. It was kinda gross, but she thought it was cool! How have you two been getting along then?”

Michiru shot Minako a look that quite clearly said “don’t kick the puppy.”

“Just great,” Minako scowled. Haruka looked confused as she stormed off.

“What’s up with her?”

“Nothing serious, my darling. We were just playing a little game, and she’s a sore loser.”


End file.
